The setup...
So I was sitting out on my deck just a few minutes ago, trying to pray. Now my deck faces some wooded area in our neighborhood. If you tried really hard, you could look into the woods and forget that we are right in the middle of the chaotic Mall of GA area. So I am sitting out there, trying to pray, looking into the woods. Now the woods are probably like 100-150 feet deep and then on the other side is Gravel Springs Roads where they are doing tons of construction. So while sitting out there, looking into "the woods" all I can hear is the sound of bulldozers and big trucks honking and moving around.
The pondering...
Why did I go outside to pray? No one is at the house right now, it is perfectly quiet in here and I wouldn't be distrubed. But I didn't want to pray in here, it felt weird...so I went outside on the deck to pray. Here is the thing, it is always noisy at this time of day out there...I know that. So did I go out there for the sake of looking into the woods? Or did I go out there for the noise? Maybe that seems like a stupid question for you, but for me it is deep. In my house (at the moment) is the quiet serenity that I should long for. Outside is the chaotic noise of multiple inputs coming at me at once. Perhaps this is why I love Starbucks so much? Coffee is coffee, but at Starbucks there is so much going on at once between people walking in and out, music over the speakers, coffee machines making noise...maybe that is the drawing fact of that place...it isn't quiet.
Maybe I am the only one who feels this way, but I think my life up to this point has conditioned me to live in the chaos and not really know how to live without it. Noise helps me think, my ipod is needed to help me write...somehow this seems so far from God's design.
No real answer for all of that, just something I am processing.
I prayed, He listened, He spoke, I listened...hopefully the dumptruck drivers wont share any of the conversation.
4 comments:
Sometimes the silence can be deafening. I think we sometimes seek out the noise because part of us doesnt really want to "hear" whats going on inside. While the silence may be uncomfortable, we are not called to our "comfort zone" in seeking God.
Then again it could be that our culture has conditioned us to be addicted to chaos...silence is just as painful to us as a loud rock concert is to our grandparents! :)
Either way I think you're right to say that it's not a part of God's original design. He can reach us through anything, but the Word describes the "still small voice" as the desirable vehicle of his wisdom.
The bottom line is that he spoke to you. You were able to listen somehow through the chaos. That's what matters in the end.
Cory,
And I like you am drawn to Chaos, but after reading your blog I realized that your right, It's not apart of God's plan to speak to us though the choas.
I just got back from Costa Rica and one part ofmy trip I was sitting on a rock at the bottom of a waterfall and although there was noise it was God's noise, his wind, his water, his animals and I felt him more than any other time.
And then there were times where I was sitting in my room, my Host family downstairs and it was just silent and God spoke so I agree with you and I agree with Melissa, God is a "still small voice."
That being said, I guess I am with you on the journey to be ok with the silence!
-Megan!
i like the depth of your thoughts.
a lot of people would probably just assume that they are drawn to the atmospheric qualities of the places they like. the smell of coffee and the organic-looking decor of starbucks, the natural beauty of "the woods." i like that you pressd deeper for a more thought-provoking concept. :) well done.
yay for blogs.
keep writing.
This blog reminds me of Chuck Palahniuk's social commentary in one of his books. He says our culture has taught us to be calm-ophobics, distraction-oholics, focus-ophobics.
"And this being fed, it's worse than being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world...
...The music and laughter eat away at your thoughts. The noise blots them out. All the sound distracts. Your head aches from the glue.
Anymore, no one's mind is their own. You can't concentrate.
You can't think. There's always some noise worming in. Singers shouting. Dead people laughing. Actors crying. All these little doses of emotion." - Chuck P.
I doubt he's thinking about spiritual life when writing these things, but the same applies. How can we hear God speak in the quiet when we're constantly bombarded with noise and chaos.
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