Rotten Apples

"Remember the days of old, consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you. When the Most High gave the nations their inheritance, when he divided all mankind, he set up boundaries for the peoples according to the number of the sons of God. For the Lord's portion is his people, Jacob his allotted inheritance. In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye."

Every once in a while, I think I need to check my sanity and see if the passage above really is in the Bible. It seems like it is, it sounds like it is...but then you get into the nitty-gritty of what I thought it would look like for God to guard me as the "apple of his eye"...and well it suddenly becomes a bit hard to believe. I find myself looking at this passage and then wondering if I am off, or if God is a liar. (Don't worry folks, I don't think God is a liar)

Doesn't it evoke something within you when you read "the Lord's portion is his people" or "he guarded him as the apple of his eye." It feels as if there are things that go along with that. I wont be presumptuous enough as to try and write what I think those things are...because it is often very intangible. In fact, perhaps it isn't that certain things go along with that...maybe it is just that from time to time I have that nagging feeling that something is off...and I want to believe it is God.

I'll find myself having a rough conversation, an awkward moment or just a rough day and end up thinking, "what was that apple of the eye stuff I read?" How is it that I am the apple of His eye and yet life is like this?

If the Lord would call His people "His portion" then why does He feel so far off?

How do I reconcile the fears and emotions to His perfect will?

Don't worry friends, not a crisis of faith =) Just some important questions to think on.